smoking engines help build character?
I’m writing to you from a MegaBus heading from Toronto to Montreal, fighting the need to pee because it feels like the restroom at the back of the MegaBus should be avoided for as long possible. I’m on hour one of seven so I’m sure I’ll have to get acquainted with it sooner or later.
I’ve been moving around a lot recently. I spent 10 days in BC in April, just in time to catch the cherry blossoms bursting to life along the streets of my childhood neighbourhood. While I was there, I ran a 10km race with my dad, promptly set the intention to start training for a half marathon, and then didn’t run at all. Oops.
But I’ve been writing a lot and working on new music which I’m really excited about. And to be fair, I did go for a run this morning so maybe we’re getting back on track after all.
A couple of weeks ago, I played a show in Toronto for Departure Festival and had a blast. The show felt so good and natural. We capped the night off with sweet potato fries and decaf coffees at a 24-hour diner - what more could I ask for?
But this most recent trip to Toronto has had a few more bumps in the road, literally. I realized half (two out of four, to be exact) of my music-related trips to Toronto in the last year have involved a broken down car and an unexpected visit to the mechanic. Hence why I’m currently writing this from the MegaBus. Friday was a day full of pulling over to the side of the highway, smoking car hoods, and panicked phone calls to my dad. Not ideal, but after a few days sleepover in Kingston this week, my little 2002 Neon should be back in action.
Despite all of that, I still made it to Toronto in time to co-write with some incredibly lovely producers and songwriters for the GateBreakers Songcamp, where I drank my fair share of Bublys while scrolling RhymeZone for words that rhyme with “homewrecker.”
I was talking to my boss’ wife last week at work. She’s someone who loves to philosophize, so full of small nuggets of wisdom. She has this uncanny ability to connect with anyone and is a proud advocate of bold bangs. We started off talking about how I was growing mine out (she confidently said I’d come back to them someday - and she’s probably right), before the conversation drifted toward something bigger: the thrill of saying yes instead of waiting on the sidelines. “Sometimes you have to say yes. Just get in the car and trust,” she told me over a glass of red wine.
This winter, I was saying no to a lot of things. I was trying to challenge my fomo, slow down, and learn how to rest without feeling guilty about it. But summer is almost here. The cherry blossoms have bloomed and fallen away and the parks are green again. I’m ready to get in the car and trust whatever comes next. Sure, it might break down along the way. But if you stay safely on the curb, you’ll never know what might be waiting further down the road.
What I’ve been listening to recently:
Are You Mine? - Kim Deal
Couleur préférée - Klô Pelgag, Joseph Mihalcean, Samuel Gougoux
Here In Frisco - Merle Haggard & The Strangers
Mantis - Courtney Barnett
Famesick: A Memoir (audiobook) - Lena Dunham
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Listen to Leave The Light On now :)